tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48038955280517514312024-02-08T08:20:15.046-08:00LucianUpYourButtonsLucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-839303469163628172010-12-10T23:00:00.000-08:002010-12-10T18:12:25.807-08:00I'm Taking My Talents to TumblrAfter consulting with my blog constituents it has been decided that the best thing for me to do is take my blogging talents to Tumblr. My new LucianUpYourButtons URL is <a href="http://lucianupyourbuttons.tumblr.com/">LucianUpYourButtons.tumblr.com</a> .I know this is kind of annoying but it's not that complicated and none of you actually subscribed to this shit yet anyway. Tumblr is easier and more betterer.<br /><br />Blogspot, not fiyyer, Tumblr, Hot Fiyyer.<br /><a href="http://lucianupyourbuttons.tumblr.com/"><br />New Link</a><br /><br />That's where you can get all your Traptastic needs. Sorry for any confusion. Again, this is the <a href="http://lucianupyourbuttons.tumblr.com/">new link.</a>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-5613658434177913382010-12-10T22:36:00.000-08:002010-12-10T14:44:24.609-08:00TRAP OR DIET<style>@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }</style> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">We eatin over here, fuck is ya'll doing?<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Cantaloupe Fiasco</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Sesame Bun B</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Jadaquiche</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Ludacrisco</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Papoosecous (Good lookin’ Dre Dre)</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Sole’ja Boy</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Gruyereci Mane</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">French Onion Soup Dogg</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Quiche Murray<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Waka Frosted Flakes</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Gouda Gouda</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Project Beef Patty</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Joell OrCheezItz</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Styles Peanutbutter and Jelly</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Nelly Frittata</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">MacaGameia Nuts</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Raekwonton </p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Wiz Khaliflower</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Red Café Con Leche</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">The Rutabagas</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Shawty Lo Mein</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">OutKasserole</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Pep-C</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Timbalamb</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Rick Aross Con Pollo</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">J.Coleslaw</p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"> </p>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-47573448274390838562010-12-10T21:16:00.000-08:002010-12-10T11:49:10.598-08:00I Tutor The Students<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >About a week ago I was doing my usual routine of hanging out with nobody in the Kingsborough cafeteria when I got a text from this shawty I know who goes to URI. She had an advertising assignment and was stuck on how to make it reach it's more fiyerr potential. The assignment was to come up with: A) a chocolate bar B) a sales pitch for said chocolate bar C) a video ad implementing said sales pitch about said chocolate bar.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Shawty is a mad good friend from back in the day when I hated cigarettes and she came to me for help so of course I had to think of something. So I told shawty "Yo shawty, don't worry, I gots you." I brainstormed with myself for a minute and hit shawty back with my idea. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Choc-Lock-N-Drop It. The Hip Hop Hershey's. BAOW! Oh you need a sales pitch? Lucian Up shawty, I gots you. Let's say you and all your shawtyz is finna go to the club but DAMN, now one shawty just ain't feeling it. Well luckily for her now there's Choc-Lock-N-Drop It. BAOW! BAOW! BAOW! Problem solved, time to hit the club and gets funky. As for the video, well, I'll let shawty and her shawtyz speak for themselves.</span><br /><br /><object style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_Tcn7qed0lY?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_Tcn7qed0lY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="640"></embed></object>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-78297739241949691692010-12-10T20:32:00.000-08:002010-12-10T08:13:56.396-08:00Pawz<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">With the exception of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">UNK</span> Jeans, gentrification and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Ke</span>$ha the "No Homo"/"Pause" craze might be the worst thing to happen to the urban world in the past decade (I realize <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ke</span>$ha isn't exactly urban but she is god awful and is therefore always an acceptable example of things that should never exist). It's an unstoppable movement that has dumbed down our society and annoyed the fuck out of everyone in the process. For those who may not be completely up to speed with all of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">UGIs</span> (Urban Gay Insults) let me bestow upon you (pause) a brief history in the world of hip-hop homophobia.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">It has long been believed that New York City-more specifically Harlem- is the birthplace of the "Pause", "No Homo" movement. It was originally created to give pardon to any words you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">might have</span> strung together that could be interpreted as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">batti</span>. No, seriously. Any regular sentence that could potentially have another gay <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">connotation</span> gets a PAUSE.</span> </span><ul style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;"><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Examples: "He was busting ass tonight on the court, no homo"</span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;">"I can give you a ride if you want, pause though"</span></li><li><span style="font-size:100%;">"Should I meet you upstairs or are you coming down, pause" </span></li></ul><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">You can substitute "coming down" for "come over", "coming over", "come by", "came"-basically anything involving the word come. Even when it is used in a logical, standard, directional purpose you still need to say "No Homo" or "Pause" because "come" sounds an awful lot like "cum" and that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">shit's</span> for gays (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">obvs</span>).</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">I have two issues with this prematurely implied <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">gayssociation</span> that's become so common in everyday conversations. Beyond the immeasurable negative impact it's had on the gay community (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">cuz</span> like you know, it makes it seem real bad to be gay and stuff) it makes having a normal conversation fucking impossible. To be honest, "No Homo" is hilarious. I don't care how ignorant or derogatory of a saying it may be "No Homo" is my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">jumpoff</span> (no homo). The problem with it is it gets so abused that even the </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >slightest</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> hint of any word that could </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >maybe</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> have a gay meaning gets paused. You can't carry on a conversation for more than forty seconds without inadvertently spewing out (pause) a comment that will make some Harlem motherfucker pause the shit out of it and start giggling (pause). Really my dude? You're pausing me because I said the line for the bathroom was long? What was I supposed to say, the line was never ending? Eat a dick (no homo though). Now I can't use certain perfectly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">useable</span> adjectives to describe a situation because YOUR cock-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">centric</span> mind waves get a tingle (no homo) out of hearing them? Doesn't that actually make you gay? You took an asexual scenario and gave it subliminal homosexual implications. You sound subliminally homo.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />However my beef with Harlem's Homo Hatred also lies in how it gets used. The constant usage negates the true Power of The Pause. If we pause anything and everything then what do we do when a dude actually makes a legit OD gay comment? Super Pause...? No but really, it takes the oomph out of it if we "No Homo" insignificant, barely gay stuff. Don't pause your boy when he orders a foot long from Subway, but DO pause him when he describes his clam chowder as "warm and creamy in my mouth". See the difference? One is just an unavoidable part of living life but the other is a totally avoidable unfortunate choice of words.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />The same principle can be applied to people who use the word "crack" to describe anything that's exceptionally good. "This burger is straight crack yo". Word? That burger is so good and overwhelmingly <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">pleasurable</span> that you'd be willing to sever ties with all friends and family, spend every dollar you've ever accumulated just to wind up blowing a mailman in a bus stop in Red Hook for another one? Nah? So then maybe it isn't really crack. Maybe that burger is just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Xanex</span>. Yeah it's pretty good now and you're feeling alright but if you have another one you'll pass out and end up by the toilet all day tomorrow.</span> Pause.</span>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-5177737453716357302010-12-09T22:29:00.000-08:002010-12-09T22:46:24.214-08:00I Guess Now I'm a Rapper From Connecticut<span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" >Ok</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > bear with me, I'm kind of new to this </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" >globbing</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > lifestyle. I don't know how to do everything I want to do. For example, I want to embed this video of me spitting this hot </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" >fiyer</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > freestyle in a room full of Connecticut gangstas but I can only post a link. Sure, you can still see the video but it involves actually going to a<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"> </span></span><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHS42jHMbLU&feature=player_embedded#%21">click a link </a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">a</span>s opposed to just pushing play. And you know how ADD most fools are these days, even<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span></span><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHS42jHMbLU&feature=player_embedded#%21">clicking a link</a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > is too much effort.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >But for those who don't mind going that extra egregious step of<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span></span><a style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHS42jHMbLU&feature=player_embedded#%21">clicking a link</a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span>I have a treat for you. In some sort of Four </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" >Loko</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > haze I </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" >must've</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > ended up in this </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" >bro'd</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > out crib with the most </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" >frootyiest</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > of </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" >Froot</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > Loops beats </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" >bangin</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > in the background and decided to do my Mic Check 1,2 1,2 thing.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >It's not actually me but I'd be lying if when I first saw it I was wholeheartedly embarrassed that I had made this video. Then I realized it could never be me: I'm too paid to freestyle.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Although on second watch dude's first line goes:</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >"If </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" >stuntin</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > is a habit you know I'm addicted, I'm a diamond in the dirt whose been found and sifted".</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Damn, I </span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" >must've</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" > been fucked up because I don't remember this night at all.</span>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-20519359843850048252010-12-09T15:43:00.000-08:002010-12-09T15:55:34.140-08:00Detrick BBM Sesh<style>@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }</style> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Fellow wordsmith and trapstar enthusiast Ben Detrick (You can follow him on the twitter, it's worthwhile @bdetrick) often have BBM convo's where pure lava is spit. I decided to transcribe one of those exchanges.</p><p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Enjoy.<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">(Nothing was changed or edited. This is seriously how we speak to each other. It's sickening.)</span><br /></p><p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: Susan Lucci Mane</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">BEN:Lucchi Gotta Crazy</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">You seen un prophet? Shit is grimy</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">The lead character is an Algerian looch</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me:I’m not sure I caught anything you just said</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben:Italian gangster flick called “unprophet”</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">About a 19 year old Algerian looch-alike</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me:I think you’ve told me about it before</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben:Nah, this my first time watching it</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">He also has a big cut on his face</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: Ah of course. But does he have the streets on click clock?</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben: Well he’s getting beaten and robbed in jail at the moment</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: So I guess it’s not exactly my biopic</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben: Mockumentary</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: Blockumentary</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Gods they sent for me</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben:Wakamentary</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: I got stocks eventually</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Guap for centuries</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben: Glocks a plenty, no crocs on ben’s feet</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me:Docks are friendly, on yachts I met Meech</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben: Vodka, lemonseed, schnaps, grenadine</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: Wops break bread with me, pasta heavy cheese</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Ben: Squash, celery ensconced in fennel beads</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Lulz, this movie has a Nas song.</p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Me: That was fun.</p>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803895528051751431.post-90497210861569324802010-12-09T12:40:00.000-08:002010-12-09T15:39:47.003-08:00Thug Motivation<span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"It ain't nothing to a boss, my goons got goons,</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">House stupid dumb big, my rooms got rooms."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">That of course is the best line from "Lose My Mind", the song that I guess would've been the single for Jeezy's new album except he doesn't have an actual album. But that's not the point. With that one bar Jeezy instantaneously put himself back on the (Bottom of the) map. That map of course being the blueprint for "stupid dumb stupid rap lines that will now give me ammo to turn into other stupid dumb stupid shit and help time pass by" map.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Thanks Jizzle!! Here we go.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Lake stupid dumb big, my loons got loons</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Fungi stupid dumb big, my 'shrooms got 'shrooms</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Armed forces stupid dumb big, my platoons got platoons</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Solar system stupid dumb big, my moons got moons</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Nut family stupid dumb big, my legumes got legumes</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Racial slur lexicon stupid dumb big, my coons got coons (just kidding)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Severe Pacific Ocean weather patterns stupid dumb big, my typhoons got typhoons<br /><br />Exhaust system stupid dumb big, my fumes got fumes<br /><br />Desert stupid dumb big, my dunes got dunes<br /><br />Midday stupid dumb big, my noons got noons<br /><br />And just for "Slick">>> Squad stupid dumb big, my hoons got hoons<br /></span>Lucianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12674291983827121220noreply@blogger.com1